Synthetic "real breastmilk"?? Electrolytes???

Every now and then I allow myself to work to the advantage of market research companies and take a survey that will earn me a couple of peanuts.  I came across one today that asked me many questions about having a baby in the house.  Score!  I get to qualify!- was my first thought.  I began the survey and it turns out to be from a formula company.  While I noted in the screening questions that I exclusively breastfeed and have not supplemented with formula in the almost 12 months of my daughter's life, the questions kept coming.  Here's a good one, let's evaluate it, shall we?

Introducing Similac^® Intelli-Pro Breast Milk Add-Ins - A first-of-its-kind powdered nutritional supplement containing important brain & eye nutrients, like Lutein & DHA, that can vary depending on your diet. Simply pour the powder pack into your expressed breast milk.

So let me get this straight, as usual I am being told that my breastmilk isn't good enough for my infant.  I mean, let's completely ignore the fact that IT ALREADY CONTAINS DHA AND LUTEIN so why in the world would I express my milk just for the sake of mixing more in?  I started second guessing my knowledge of these in breastmilk, but a quick glance to Kellymom.com assured me that yes, the girls are quite proficient at making everything my baby needs, including brain boosting DHA.

Introducing Similac^® Gold - a revolutionary advancement in infant nutrition to truly bring Similac^® closer than ever to breast milk. The first infant formula to include important nutrients directly from actual breast milk. For use 0-12 months.


Wowee!  Nutrients directly from breastmilk? You mean I can just mix up this powder with nutrients identical to the ones I'm making without having to go through all the trouble of breastfeeding?  I've been waiting for this day to come!  Hey Similac?  What are these "important nutrients directly from actual breast milk" and who the HELL is donating their breastmilk to make you formula?  This one is hard for me to wrap my brain around and all I can think about is where this breast milk is coming from.  Technically, milk from cows is breast milk; is it coming from cows?  Sheep?  Goat?  Women shackled up in the Similac factory trained to lactate on command and squirt breastmilk in any naysayers eye?

I understand that not every woman is fortunate enough to have the kind of successful breastfeeding relationship that I have had with my two.  I also understand enough about society to know that many women who were told that they "did not produce enough milk" or could not otherwise breastfeed were fed a crock of shit; I don't blame these women.  When you have a formula company telling you that you can use their equally superior product, why would you suffer through the occasional plugged duct or the hassle of pumping at work?  Women are being told that their breastmilk alone is not good enough, so buy this product and add it in to make it better!  Pffffttttt!!!

Charlotte, 11 months, having what she calls her "biggums"

Unfortunately, seeing these future marketing gimmicks used to grab new moms and convince them that their product is better than breastfeeding, was not the worst news I received in the breastfeeding world this week.

Charlotte caught a short-lived stomach virus at our homeschool co-op two weeks ago and suffered through the water poops for two days before she got all better.  Two days after she finished her illness, we returned to co-op to see other children who had caught the same thing...only this time some of them were there while their children were in the middle of the sickness (I will not rant about this now...I will not rant about this now...), and she caught it again.  For 10 days, she was sick.  There was no fever, no vomiting, just diaper after diaper of some foul shit, to put it nicely.  Normally cloth users, I had to break down and buy some disposables and she went through 3 packs (of 36 diapers each!) over the course often days.  Growing concerned, I called the doctor.  I have no experience with an infant who has the runs for a week and a half and wanted to get an expert opinion on whether or not we should take her in and if not, at what point is diarrhea going on for too long?

I spoke to someone at our pediatrician's office and explained that this had been going on for ten days, but no other symptoms were present and that other children and families we know got sick as well.  Whoever I was speaking to told me that it was probably just teething...I reiterated that at least 4 other families that I knew of had the same sickness.  She replied with, "Could they be teething to?"  Oh yeah, sure.  Those teething teenagers, you know how they get...

Anyhow,  I asked what I should do or keep an eye out for over the next few days and was asked to hold while she consulted with the P.A.  This was her advice:

"You should stop breastfeeding for 24 hours and give her Gatorade instead."

My jaw hit the floor and I could not get off the phone and on Facebook fast enough to share the professional advice that I had just received.  Now, I know better.  I know that Gatorade is full of artificial sugars and colors and flavors that I want no part of for my family, let alone my infant.  What if I DIDN'T know this?  What if I was a first time mom who took this advice?  Well, I can't tell you what someone other than me would have done, but here's what it would have gone like with us:

Charlotte would scream.  She would scream and scream and scream during a time that is already stressful and painful for her.  She would scream "BIIIIGGGGUUUUUMMMMMSSSS" as loud and for as long as she would have to.  And then she would scream some more.  About four hours into not breastfeeding, I would start feeling lumpy in the bra area.  Things would get a little uncomfortable.  Mayeb I could hand express some milk but would that really do much good?  Charlotte would scream some more.  She would cry.  She would stand like an ostrich with her head between her legs, snot rolling down (or would it be up in such a position?) her face and scream.  And cry.  She might drink a few sips of Gatorade, but that's not what she wants.  When naptime rolled around, she would scream.  She would paw at my shirt and say, "Biggums mama.  Biggums.  Biggum biggum biggum.".  But I've been told not to share for 24 hours!  So I would lay there and pat her back and sing songs to her while she writhed around in pain and...you guessed it, screamed.  By the 24 hour mark, she would have slept about 4 hours total, I would be about 30 minutes away from full blown mastitis, running on zero sleep, close to having a mental breakdown, and STILL changing poopy diapers every 23 minutes. She might be content by that point, resigning herself to the fact that I wasn't sharing my biggums and instead downing Red 40 and a Sucrose-Dextrose combo guaranteed to make her bounce off the fucking walls.  But I would be miserable.  She would be getting absolutely zero nutritional benefit from her 24 hours without breastmilk.  She might be so mad at me that she decided she was done nursing.  Did I mention I would be in pain and that she would have screamed so much during that biggum-free 24 hours that not even our neighbors would get sleep?

Why would I take away my child's biggest source of comfort during a long lasting illness that caused her pain?  Why would I supplement my perfectly formulate for my baby breastmilk by something made to help athletes hydrate?

A few days later, a friend's child came down with a similar illness.  They go to the same office as we and she received the same instructions from the same P.A.  I guess it's hard for me to blame just the formula companies and family unfriendly government policies and assholes who say things like "Peeing in public is natural too.  So if you can breastfeed in public, I can pee in public" when our children's own doctors are inadvertently setting women up for failure by offering such advice.

Question:  What bad advice have you been given about breastfeeding that you may have followed had you not done your own research?